Today

Today, there were many times I wanted to cry. I miss my parents. I miss our house in the province. I miss coming home to my little brothers. I just feel so lonely here in the city even if I live with my brother. I feel so lonely even if I have school every day, even if I am always surrounded by classmates and there is always so much to do. I feel lonely. Most times at school, I feel like I don’t belong with my group of friends. Is it me who’s creating a shell against them or is it them who has always had a shell against me? Sometimes, I also feel empty. I ask myself why do I still continue to study all these crazy diseases and information in medical school. I feel tired and empty. I know I am forgetting a lot of things like goals, and dreams that is why I feel all these. But I just cannot help to feel so down and sad. I know what I need to do but I am just losing interest in doing them, in almost anything lately. Right now, I need to feel this sadness. I’d rather feel this sadness than the occasional emptiness.

This will pass. I hope that happens soon.